The Arcane and the Obvious

In one of my lives, I work in a large corporate reseller of media. The hook is books. Lots of them. But we have CDs and DVDs, periodical literature, and some sundry merchandise which we gather under the catch-all category of "Gifts and Stationery."

One such "gift" is a replica of a light saber. Lots of people (children especially) are amused by them. Fans of Star Wars know immediately what they are and play with the demo model in the store. Other people seem peripherally aware of them without knowing specifics.

One such customer played with the demo model for a few minutes before joining her companion at the register. She like so many others is shocked that such a thing might cost more than a hundred dollars. Shocked even though it lights in a way that mimics the special effects of the late-70s Science Fiction movie, and sounds like the foley effects--in response to an embedded motion sensor. It's a very cool toy, and a very accurate replica.

Yep. I own one. Specifically, it's the model Anakin Skywalker used while he was a Jedi. The one Obi Wan gave to Luke in the first theatrical release (Episode 4). You know... with the blue blade. There's also Darth Vader's, Luke's own (that he made during his Jedi training), and there is a Darth Maul model. If you buy two of the Darth Maul models, you can lock them together to make a double-ended saber just like the one in Episode 2 (I think it was that movie).

There are groups that have come in to buy out our entire stock in order to use them to stage mock fights.

To be sure, those 'saber replicas have a certain allure for the geekiest among us.

It was that geek in me that was really disheartened to hear that customer tell her friend about the light saber from Star Trek.

I gave a light-hearted whisper to her saying simply "Star Wars..."

To which she responded by correcting herself, then announcing to me that "I'm not much of a Trekkie."

Ooof.

I had nothing more to say to her. I knew explaining the multitude of ways that her response was oh-so-wrong would just fall on deaf ears.

I think I just blinked.

"Trekkie," echoed through my brain. I felt wounded.

Some of the best advice I have ever received was from a cognitive therapist. He taught me that I didn't have to believe my thoughts.

This is not designed to remove myself from reality, rather it is to place myself more firmly in it.

I found out today about a something called "The Work," from a book written by Byron Katie called Loving What Is. I have not read the book, although its subject matter speaks to me. I should like to read it soon. Some of the concepts were delivered to me via email newsletter from an author I have read, one Dr. Daniel Amen.

Dr. Amen is a brain researcher. He uses PET scans to look at brain activity. He can show you what a depressed brain looks like, what an ADD brain looks like, and the what damage caused by alcoholism and drug abuse looks like. He is a proponent of talk therapy and of psychiatric medicine--in proportion to the issue and the illness.

The newsletter I received today, however, was less about medicine and more about challenging yourself with a new way of thinking.

From Dr. Amen's newsletter (and with gratitude to Byron Katie):

The Work reveals that our everyday thinking — the beliefs, concepts, judgments, or “stories” that we use to control and obscure our actual experience — never correspond to reality. All our wants, needs, and “shoulds” … all the beliefs, concepts, judgments, and “stories” that we use to shape and control our experience, are distortions of things as they actually are. We impose these thoughts upon reality, and whenever we see them as true, we suffer. The questions first show us the inaccuracy of our thinking, and then show us exactly how we cause our own suffering when we become attached to a thought. Finally there is the remarkably liberating question “Who would you be without your story?” For those who are ready to answer this question honestly, the painful inner struggle ends. This question allows us a glimpse of reality — “what is” — and a realization that “what is” is always preferable to our story about it.

And the four questions:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

I won't pretend that I am an expert on this topic, or that I am "good at" or "well-versed" in "The Work." It's abundantly clear to me that I have more "Work" to do for myself.

I do know, however, that being able to question my own thoughts has probably saved my life. I can't be more clear about how significant this is. You do have the right to question yourself. You don't have to believe the things you say to yourself.

I dare you to write down those things you hear that voice speaking to you. I know you know the one. It speaks those limitations you've adopted because others have limited you. Those reasons you tell yourself that you can't do or that you shouldn't do or that you would never be able to do. Write those thoughts down for a day. Then when you can look at them in black-and-white, you can see how poorly you treat yourself. And you can then begin to question the truth of those statements.

Simple. But not easy.

What I know for certain is that questioning myself caused me to be able to release some of the thoughts that kept me in a downward spiral. I must still guard against these traps that I set for myself, but I'm getting better at recognizing them. I still have bad days, but I rarely feel as out of control as I once did. I credit questions like these with the outcome: I'm am here today writing this.

This morning, pulling into the parking lot at work, my iPod played the Shaft Theme.

I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft. John Shaft!

So, yeah...

Two more speeding tickets this year. That's got to put me around 12 for my driving career of two decades, but honestly I've lost count. I don't know how many speeding tickets I've had anymore.

So I need to quit it.

I'm going to try really hard for the next year to stay at or below posted speed limits.

I've developed a lot of really bad habits. I tend to drive in the left lane, and I tend to drive as fast as the car in front of me. Or 10 over. More if I felt I could get away with it.

The last speeding ticket I got, though, was just because I let my car coast down a hill. Tagged at 40 in a 30. I didn't realize I was travelling that fast, honestly. I just was thinking about getting home. And the thing is I was almost there.

So I'm trying a lot harder now to pay attention where I haven't before. I'm trying really hard to not drive like an ass. Like other people are in my way. Like I'm in a hurry.

It's hard to keep myself in check, but I know most people don't feel the need to pass others all the time, so I can learn to ease off a little.

It helps that the dash of my "new" car is full of information. There are two places on my dash that can show average miles per gallon. One place can estimate instant mileage. It's been fun adjusting my habits and challenging myself to keep those numbers as high as possible.

The last thing I want is to be an obstacle. There is a lot of traffic moving well in excess of any speed limit I have ever seen, and it can feel a lot like pressure to move faster.

I'm doing my best to not make it my problem.

I'm trying hard also to be polite about it. I stay right. I will not do the speed limit in the left lane--I'm not oblivious. And I'm starting to get upset when people pass me on the right, although I am famous for that same maneuver.

So yeah, that will actually be me driving the speed limit. It doesn't mean I'm getting old or conservative. It does mean I do not want my license revoked.

Feel free to call me on it. I need the reminders.

This one is for fans of Star Wars.

My favorite lines are "What the hell is an aluminum falcon?" and "I love you, too."

Link

Props to Anthony for this one!